Life at Windian High (Part 2)




Lucy shrugged her shoulders lightly as she moved towards the stage, ready to practice her own song for the dance. "I'll go next since," she shot a glance over her shoulder at Janet who seemed to be busying herself with her backpack for a moment. "Since she's not quite ready yet."

'Not quite ready' wasn't the exact phrase that crossed Janet's mind as she muttered to herself. Thoroughly pissed off and about ready to destroy, and therefore too distracted to sing, I'd use that... Janet was having problems. Guy problems. Reaccuring ex-boyfriend problems. She'd run across Justin a couple times in the school halls earlier that day, and each time just his mere presence being around her seemed to put her into a foul mood. Especially when she noted Candi not too far from Justin's side. During her last couple of classes her mind had been too tangled up about Justin to pay much attention to anything else. "Just thougts." She uttered to herself quietly. Thoughts. Thoughts about being with Justin for those past couple of years, thoughts about what it was like just before they broke up. Yes, thoughts, thoughts that were deeply troubling her. Thoughts that she was only startled out of when she suddenly heard Lucy's voice from on the stage. She paused for a moment to listen before the thoughts came rushing back into her head along with the words of the song Lucy sang.

"I'm a big big girl in a big big world, it's not a big big thing if you leave me. But I do do feel that I too too will miss you much."

Janet sighed again as she turned to listen to her friend. That is how I feel, she thought bitterly to herself. I don't want to admit that I miss him... maybe I don't miss him but maybe I miss someone there. Either way... I'll be alright, won't I?

"I can see that first leaf falling. It's all yellow and nice. It's so very cold outside, like the way I'm feeling inside. I'm a big big girl in a big big world it's not a big big thing if you leave me. But I do do feel that I too too will miss you much."

Janet's thoughts skipped a little as she continued to listen to her friend. Cold inside? Am I getting cold? I don't think so. Maybe I used to be cold... I'm just not sure anymore.

"Outside it's now raining, and tears are falling from my eyes. Why did it have to happen, why did it all have to end? I'm a big big girl in a big big world it's not a big big thing if you leave me, but I do do feel that I too too will miss you much... miss you much."

She stopped and turned to her friend on stage, watching Lucy's face as she sang. Suddenly it struck her, just what Lucy was singing about. She's thinking of her brother... Dammit, Janet and here you are going over and over yourself about troubles with your ex! Lucy seems to have the idea though... this is almost how she mourns Brandon now, these songs. That's not really such a bad idea.

Janet was right. Lucy's words were about the one thing that she constantly found her mind slipping towards, and that was her brother. The raven-haired windian was getting better though. She would go on, with the memory of her brother. She'd never forget him, but Ray was there to help her now. Lucy's thoughts were all one Brandon as she continued to sing.

"I have your arms around me, warm like fire. But when I open my eyes, you're gone. I'm a big big girl in a big big world it's not a big big thing if you leave me, but I do do feel that I too too will miss you much... miss you much..."

The song faded out and Lucy smiled lightly as her friends commented on the song. "Very nice!" "Great job!" They're compliements seemed to echo through the auditorium. Janet just grabbed her things and headed up onto the stage, Lucy moving aside for her.

"Alright, so I don't have any music." Janet rolled her eyes and then flashed her friends an apologetic look. "But look... you all are pretty good, so if you could just do me a big favor and wing it..." She chuckled lightly, causing a few of her band mates to exchange glances.

"Are you sure?" Alex's tail seemed to wave in slight worry. Brad just chuckled as he twirled his drumsticks.

"Hey! This is what practices are for, right?"

"Yea." Frank nodded. "Alright then, on your cue, Janet."

Janet tapped her foot lightly and then began to lead her friends in song, her mind still tracing around thoughts of Justin as she did so.

"I woke up and called this morning, the tone in your voice was a warning that you don't care for me anymore. I made up the bed we sleep in, I looked at the clock when you creep in, it's 6am and I'm alone. Did you know when you go it's the perfect ending to the bad day I was just beginning. When you go all I know is you're my favorite mistake. Well your friends are sorry for me. They watch you pretend to adore me. But I'm no fool to this game. Now here comes your secret lover, she'd be unlike any other until your guilt goes up in flames. Did you know when you go it's the perfect ending to the bad day I've gotten used to spending. When you go, all I know is you're my favorite mistake, you're my favorite mistake.

"Well maybe nothing lasts forever, even when you stay together. I don't need forever after, but it's your laughter, won't let me go, so I'm holding on this way. Did you know, could you tell, you were the only one that I ever loved. Now everything's so wrong. Did you see me walking by? Did it ever make you cry? Now you're my favorite mistake. Yea you're my favorite mistake. You're my favorite mistake..."

And then, just as the song finished, just like that her thoughts changed again. They were still thoughts about Justin, but when once she was sorry to have lost him, now she was glad. A feeling of utter despise welled up in her. You see, for a female, something like this was just natural. Especially for a female like Janet who could be capable of many sudden mood changes at once. I thought it was you I missed Justin, but no.. it's just the you I thought I knew that I missed... Without warning she launched into a second song, catching the rest of the band off guard. Frank was quick enough to pick up a tune to match, leading the rest into music with him as Janet once more began to sing the thoughts in her head.

"I'm living without you. I know all about you. I have run you down into the ground. Spread disease about you over town! I used to adore you... I couldn't control you... there was nothing that I wouldn't do to keep myself around and close to you! Do you have an opinion? A mind of your own? I thought you were special, I thought you should know... but I've run out of patience! I couldn't care less...

"I, I used to amuse you. I, I knew that I'd lose you. Now you're here and begging for a chance, but there's no way in hell I'd take you back! Do you have an opinion? A mind of your own? I thought you were special, I thought you should know... but I've run out of patience, I've run out of comments! I'm tired of your violence, I couldn't care less... I'm looking for a new."

By the time she was done, she couldn't tell if she felt better or worse, or just as she had been feeling earlier. There was an odd silence that filled the auditorium after those two songs, and it lingered like a bad feeling until Frank finally broke it.

"Well... nice songs!" He flashed the windian an approving grin. Janet just rolled her eyes and tried to forget her bad mood for the moment.

"Big Big World" by Emilia
"Favorite Mistake" By Sheryl Crow
"Special" By Garbage



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