Scene 4

The scene opens to show the stage amazingly set up into a type of climbing wall that disappears into the overhanging curtains as it rises up. Chad, Frank, David and Lucy are still on their prop boat, which is slowly being pulled towards the wall. The backdrop shows that it is dawn.

Frank: *gazing behind him to another ship* Look! He is right on top of us! I wonder if he's using the same wind we are using?

Chad: Whoever he is, he's too late! See! *pointing to the wall* The Cliffs of Insanity!!! Hurry up! Move..the thing...and that other thing! Move it!!!

The ship is pulled up to dock at the wall and the crew climb out.

Chad: Were safe, only Fezzik is strong enough to go up our way. He'll have to sail around for hours 'till he finds a harbor.

David grabs a hold of a rope that has been sitting coiled in the boat and swings it about, tossing it up the wall. David, all three holding on to him, then proceeds to climb a rope up the side of the climbing wall.

After them a much smaller prop ship pulls up, and Brandon who has now been cast as the man in black hops out and begins to climb the rope after them.

Frank: *in amazement* He's climbing the rope....and he's gaining on us.

Chad: Inconceivable! ....Faster!!

David: I thought I was going faster.

Chad: You were supposed to be this colossus, you were this great legendary thing and yet he gains!

David: Well, I'm carrying three people, and he got only himself.

Chad: I do not accept excuses! I'm just going to have to find myself a new giant, that's all.

David: Don't say that, Vizzini, please?

Chad: Did I make it clear that your job is at stake?

As David disappears up the side of the wall and out of view, the stage goes black. When the lights come back on the stage has been set up to look like the top of the cliff. There is a rope draped off of the stage, and along the front of the stage has been decorated to look like the side of a cliff. Brandon is currently crouched on the ground in front of the stage, holding onto the rope as he pretends to continue to climb up. Chad rushes to where the rope is tied around a rock and pulls out a knife, quickly cutting the rope loose. As the frayed end of the rope slides off the stage and disappears, Chad, David and Frank step over to the front of the stage and look down at Brandon who is now clinging to the cliffside.

David: He's got very good arms.

Chad: He didn't fall!? Inconceivable!

Frank: *looking confused as he turns to Chad* You keep using that word? I do not think it means what you think it means...*looking back down* my god...he's climbing.

Chad: Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the princess and must therefore die. You *to David* carry her. We'll *to Frank* head straight for the Guilder frontier. Catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine; if not, the sword.

Frank: I'm going to do him left-handed.

Chad: You know what a hurry we're in!

Frank: Well, it is the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my right, it's over too quickly.

Chad: *throwing his hands in the air in defeat* Oh have it your way.

David: *to Frank* You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.

Chad: *impatiently* I'm waiting...

Frank unsheaths his sword, and practices a few steps. He then walks to the edge of the stage and calls down to Brandon.

Frank: Hello there. Slow going?

Brandon: *sighs he looks up at Frank from where he's clinging to the cliffside* Look, I don't mean to be rude but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.

Frank: *apologetic* Sorry.

Brandon: Thank you. *goes back to his struggled climb*

Frank: *pacing a bit and pauses* I do not suppose you could speed things up?

Brandon: If you're in such a hurry you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.

Frank: I could do that. I still got some rope up here. But I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.

Brandon: *pauses and stares up at Frank, nodding* That does put a damper on our relationship.

Frank: ...but, I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.

Brandon: *shakes his head* That's very comforting, but I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.

Frank: I hate waiting. *paces away from the cliff side and for a moment and then rushes back over to where Brandon is* I could give you my word as a Romerian?

Brandon: *struggling up the cliff side* No good. I've known too many Romerians.

Frank: Is there another way you'll trust me?

Brandon: Nothing comes to mind.

Frank: *pausing and going very solemn* I swear on the soul of my Father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.

Brandon: *stares up at Frank for a moment* ...Throw me the rope.

Frank throws the rope to the Brandon, and helps him onto the stage. The lights dim again, and when they are back on the layout of the stage has changed to give a good view of the top of the cliff. There are many stone structures and it looks like the remains of some sort of large building, with only a few stair cases and little bits of walls and an archway left standing.

(Nate- Okay, this is just getting too weird...

Alex- Hey! Do not question my abilities!)

Brandon: *exhausted as he speaks to Frank* Thank you. *He struggles to draw his sword*

Frank: Wait wait wait wait wait wait 'till you're ready.

Brandon: Again, thank you. *He sits and removes one of his boots, turning it upside down to shake out a couple of large stones. Brandon is also wearing black socks.*

(Nate- My god! He really is a man in black!

Alex- Yea... just watch...)

Frank: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?

Brandon: *looks at Frank curiously before revealing his five fingers* Do you always begin conversations this way?

Frank: *shaking his head* My father was slaughtered by a six fingered man. He was a great sword-maker, my father. When the six fingered man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before he was done.

Frank unsheathes his sword, and shows it to the Brandon.

Brandon: I've never seen its equal. *hands the sword back to Frank*

Frank: *resheathing the sword* Six fingered man returned and demanded it...but at one-tenth his promised price. My father refused. Without a word, the six fingered man slashed him through the heart. I loved my father, so naturally I challenged this man to a duel. I failed...Six fingered man leave me alive, but he gave me this *a scar on his cheek* and this *another scar on his other cheek*.

Brandon: How old were you?

Frank: I was eleven years old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing; so the next time we meet I will not fail. I will go up to the six fingered man and say 'Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.'

Brandon: *intrigued* You've done nothing but sword-play?

Frank: *shrugging* More pursue more than study lately. You see, I cannot find him...it's been twenty years now and I'm starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.

After a moments silence, the Brandon stands up and prepares to battle.

Brandon: Well I....I certainly hope you find him someday.

Frank: You all ready then?

Brandon: Whether I am or not, you've been more than fair.

Frank: *drawing his sword* You seem a decent fellow...I hate to kill you.

Brandon: You seem a decent fellow...I hate to die.

Frank: *confidently* Begin.

Slowly the great battle starts. Frank tests Brandon with a quick slash at him and Brandon dodges with barely a swerve. Brandon test Frank with a quick slash and Frank dodges in the same manner. Both then bring up their weapons and metal clashes as the battle heats up.

Frank: You are using Bonetti's Defense against me, ah?

Brandon: I thought it fitting considering the rocky terrain.

The two fighters begin charging around the stage as they fight.

Frank: Naturally, you must suspect me to attack with Capo Ferro?

Brandon: Naturally...but I find that Tibal cancels out Capo Ferro. Don't you?

Frank: Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa... *pauses with a shrug* which I have.

They continue to exchange attacks and parries. Eventually Brandon begins to lead Frank over to the edge of the stage and therefor the edge of the cliff.

Frank: You are wonderful!

Brandon: Thank you. I've worked hard to become so.

Frank: I admit it, you are better than I am.

Brandon: Then why are you smiling?

Frank: Because I know something you don't know.

Brandon: And what is that?

Frank: *switching hands* I am not left-handed!

Frank switches to his right hand, and appears to overwhelm the Brandon as the two rush away from the cliff and Frank begins to back Brandon up a worn staircase that is built right on the cliff's edge.

Brandon: You're amazing!

Frank: I ought to be after twenty years.

Brandon: *struggling to keep Frank away* There's something I ought to tell you.

Frank: Tell me!

Brandon: I'm not left-handed either.

The Brandon switches to his right hand, and performs a few amazing feats. One of these feats is when Brandon manages to knock Frank's sword from his hand, sending the weapon flying away from the fighters and landing on the ground below the staircase that the two have been fencing on. Frank looks from Brandon to his rapier, then runs to the edge of the cliff and jumps, catching onto a leather hold that has been suspended tightly across two stone pillars and swings himself, leaping and landing on the ground as he retrieves his sword. Brandon watches him for a moment then throws his own weapon down to the ground. It lands, sticking into a patch of grass just next to Frank. Frank watches as Brandon then goes and jumps from the stairway and grabs a hold of the same leather band that Frank had used, flipping himself around the band as he launches himself into the air, performing yet another flip and lands perfectly beside his sword, leaning up against the weapon as he considers Frank with a smirk. Frank stares at him in amazement.

Frank: *in awe* Who are you?

Brandon: *smirking* No one of consequence.

Frank: I must know.

Brandon: Get used to disappointment.

Frank: *disappointed* Okay...

The battle rages on again, this time, the Brandon is dominating. With a quick movement Brandon manages to disarm Frank, sending his weapon flying. Frank leaps out of the way, preforming a back flip. As he lands, both he and Brandon pause as the sword tumbles down from the air and Frank catches it flawlessy and the fight starts up again. As the battle pace picks up Frank begins to lose control and soon Brandon knocks the sword out of Frank's hand, and circles in behind him.

Frank: *kneeling* Kill me quickly.

Brandon: I would as soon destroy a stained glass window then an artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you following me either...

Brandon hits Frank on the back of his head with the hilt of his sword, knocking him out.

Brandon: *sincerely* Please understand I hold you in the highest respect.

Brandon runs off to find Chad and the lights of the stage go out. When they come back on, the set has changed to look like a hill covered in large boulders. Chad spots Brandon coming.

Chad: Inconceivable!! Give her to me! *taking Lucy* Catch up with us quickly!

David: What do I do?

Chad: Finish him! Finish him...your way...

David: Oh good. My way. *smiling* Thank you Vizzini. *pauses* Which way's my way?

Chad: *irritated* Pick up one of those rocks, get behind a boulder, and in a few minutes the man in black will come running around the bend. The minute his HEAD is in view hit it with the rock!

David: *to himself* My way is not very sportsman-like.

Brandon proceeds up the hill, and is met by a rock crashing against a boulder right next to him.

David: *stepping from his hiding place, another rock in hand* I did that on purpose. I didn't have to miss.

Brandon: *staring at David* I believe you. *pauses* So what happens now?

David: *shrugs* We face each other as god intended; sportsman-like...no tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.

Brandon: You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?

David: *holding up a large rock* I could kill you now?

Brandon: Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.

David: *shrugs* It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise. *tosses the rock over his shoulder*

Brandon charges David, but cannot knock him down. He continues to try and attack but David seems unphased.

Brandon: *agitated* Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what?

David: I just want you to feel you are doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed. *David grabs at him, but misses* You're quick!

Brandon: Good thing too.

David: *swinging at the Brandon* Why are you wearing a mask? Were you burned by acid or something like that?

Brandon: Oh no, it's just they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.

Brandon manages to jump onto David's back, and tries to choke him. David pushes his back against a boulder, almost knocking the wind out of the Brandon.

David: I just feared you would give me so much trouble.

Brandon: Why is that, do you think?

David: Well, I haven't fought just one person for so long...*struggles more with the Brandon* ...I've been specializing in groups, fighting gangs for local charities...that kind of thing.

Brandon: Why should that make such a *is slammed up against a rock and pauses* difference?

David: *slowing down* You see, you use different moves when you're fighting half a dozen people, *weakening as he begins to fall to the ground* then when you only... have to worry... about... one.

David falls to the ground, unconscious. The Brandon checks to see if he is still alive.

Brandon: I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But in the meantime, rest well and dream of large women.